I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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