Fine. I'll sleep in my office
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
