last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
