i permit you to call me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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