Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
