just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
Exactly.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
