What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
