I'm drive I can fine osifer
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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