im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
