worst night to have a conscience
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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