I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
