im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
