So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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