If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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