I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
