hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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