haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
