I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
