she was so not down for the gang bang
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
