my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
