Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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