he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize