what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I could fuck to npr.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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