In the future we'll all be gay
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
