We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize