Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
