That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
