You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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