how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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