he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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