Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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