he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
did i just pee glitter
I need water and some morals
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
