i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
