I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
