Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
