Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
