Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Enjoy the penises
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize