The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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