swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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