I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
