So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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