The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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