Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize