wakey wakey hands off snakey
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
