id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize