Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
