nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
