lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
