he thought i was a dude.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
