She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
