I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
