The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
