i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All the doctor said was why
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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