You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
