Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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